Essays

Stay Fanatic!!! vol. 1 Reading Review NEW

Family may fail you. Friends can change. Music has never let you down.

The Spirit of Podcasts 2021

I had found my medicine.

Acid Park

The sculptures stood forty feet high or more. They spun and twirled like weather vanes. It was like a whole midway of carnival rides shrunk and hoisted into the air on metal polls. Miniature airplanes and carousels with iron horses, tilt-a-whirls, and spinning stars. And they were absolutely covered in reflectors of every color.

Nine One One Oh One

Terrorist season was open, and there were signs everywhere.

Anatomy of a Poem: "Chokes and Warbles"

If Shakespeare were my teacher, he’d hang his head in shame, probably invent a new insult to write at the top of my paper.

My Five Favorite Songs About Suicide

There’s a lesson here, one I didn’t expect to find in this song: No two people experience depression the same way. It comes when it comes, from all manner of triggers within and without.

The Spirit of Podcasts 2020

As I drove away from the Wendy’s in tears, having nearly finished the final episode--and confusing the server who handed me my bag--I knew immediately I was going to do another one of these lists.

A Series of Tributes to Neil Peart

I was just a teenager taking the piss out of the adults. But I felt important with Neil’s words on my back. I felt as strong as life because of them.

The Stone God Awakens Reading Review

Leave it up to Farmer to install a brand-new knob on a well-used trope and crank that sucker up to eleven billion.

Seven Things You Don't Remember About Last Year

What of the small, not at all insignificant moments that fell between the big memories and were lost? They are just as vital, just as precious and in need of preserving.

Set to Sea Reading Review

Hard labor, bad food, pirate attacks: the life of a sailor is less than idyllic.

The Changing Land Reading Review

This book has great promise. The setting is intriguing, the main character is cool and interesting, the action is well paced. It vaults high but lands badly, twists its ankle, and limps away embarrassed.

The Outsider Reading Review

It's a grisly crime: the molestation, murder, and partial cannibalizing of a young boy in a small town. The killer is spotted and identified by multiple people, first with the boy then without him but covered in blood. It's an open-and-shut case. At first.

Gahan Wilson's Out There Reading Review

Wilson is known for his subversive and often gruesome cartoons, but he's done much more.

'92/'93

The music was made for us. We were The Youth, the prized demographic, reaching back for the cultural baton as our parents reluctantly passed it on. The entire entertainment business was busy keeping our ears full. And we were hungry.

Dissolving the Block

We all face it. That inability to move forward with the work. We call it a block, but that’s not what it really is. It’s fear. Here's a secret: There Is Nothing To Be Afraid Of.

What Do You Do When Your Heroes Do Drugs?

I'm a teetotaler. I don't drink, don't smoke, so what do I do? Judge... mostly. When I was young I hated drunk people. I hated them and their stupid problems.

Magic is Friendship

The one game I have played more often and with more people than any other is Magic: the Gathering. I’ve played at work, in coffee shops, conventions, comedy clubs. My card collection has been in tow for twenty-plus years now, a tangible part of my past, relics that paint a picture of who I am.

I Got Strings

You are a puppet. That's right. You. So am I. Every last one of us.

Anatomy of a Poem: "Umlaut"

I was on a roll at this point, washing baby bottles in my kitchen and writing in my head.

Video Games and Pie

I’m riding from school on the bus. My parents will be at work when I get home. My brother will be at my Granny’s house. I will have three or four hours of solitude, and I’m planning to fill that time with two things.

Twenty-Five Years of Reading, part two

I'll want at times to slip the thin and bleeding skin I was born into and flex muscles I never had. Between the pages of a book, there are other worlds than these.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers Reading Review

Invasion of the Body Snatchers is a flawed book, but at its core is a truth so deep even its most egregious faults cannot ruin it.

Norse Mythology Reading Review

All I knew of Norse mythology I learned from Marvel comics or Dungeons and Dragons manuals. Which meant I really knew nothing at all.

The Invisible Man Reading Review

Everyone but the titular character sees the immense problems with becoming permanently transparent.

Bluebeard Reading Review

Bluebeard is different in that it actually seems to care about its characters rather than what they represent.

The Voyage of the Space Beagle Reading Review

In designing the template for how space exploration is handled by a good majority of artists, this book is a definite piece of science fiction history. But is it a good read?

Rendezvous with Rama Reading Review

The book's strength is the wonderment of the alien ship. Clarke does a great job in hooking the reader and keeping you fully engaged as Rama slowly awakens from dormancy and begins to reveal its secrets.

Cold in July Reading Review

How badly can a father fail before his son follows his path to ruin? And if the son is heir to the father's sins, how responsible is the father for the monster he creates? At what point is the father required to make amends for the deeds of his offspring?

The Ocean at the End of the Lane Reading Review

We think children are the only ones to see things purely, but we only have that thought when we reach maturity.

Twenty-Five Years of Reading, part one

Each year I keep a list of all the books I read. I write the title and author in pencil on a sheet of loose-leaf and clamp the growing stack of pages to a clipboard.

A Night in the Lonesome October Reading Review

Zelazny is trying to use familiar building blocks to construct an alien tower. And then he looks at it from low angles, through a dog’s eyes.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? Reading Review

Anything can, at any moment, change form; anyone can shift allegiance. The universe will not maintain balance or rationality, and it cares not for your sanity. This is an action story embedded in a philosophy dissertation, and it comes close to nihilism.

Uncle Sam Reading Review

The failure between the ideals of America and the broken promises is tearing Uncle Sam apart.

God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater Reading Review

In Vonnegut’s world view, no one, not the working man or philanthropist millionaire, has a firm grip on anything you might call happiness.

Green Shadows, White Whale Reading Review

When you try to change Ireland, you do so at your own risk.

The Border Reading Review

The great things about this book are many. The aliens are very alien, unique in a long line of literary invaders. The horrors are gut-wrenching. When blood flows, it flows deep.

Rusty Puppy Reading Review

There's a passage in Rusty Puppy that is beautiful and haunting and heartbreakingly cruel. It's about the Robin Hood Tree. Long-time readers will remember that tree.

Trinity Reading Review

I was immediately hooked by the personal touch of Clark trying to fit in with humans by manufacturing his own imperfections.

The Most Disappointing Novels I Ever Read

I try to read only good books, but sometimes even the best authors let you down, and sometimes circumstances require you to read a god-awful piece of dreck.

Cat's Cradle Reading Review

This is way the world ends, not with a bang but with an ah-whoom. That's the sound of all the world's oceans freezing solid at once.

The Stand Reading Review

This is a big book, over a thousand pages long. It needs to be. The length is the book's greatest strength.

How I Failed My Saving Throw and Learned to Love D&D

I, by random luck, rolled up one of the strongest natural-born humans in the D&D universe. To a kid made entirely of knees and elbows, this was the perfect piece of escapism.

The Celebrity Death of 2016 No One Talked About

Finding his books sparked my interest in Dungeons & Dragons, which led me to board games and polyhedral dice. New avenues of nerdom opened and welcomed me in. I connected with friends, and we hung out and went to shows and conventions and whiled away many a night at the gaming table.

The People Who Cut You Open

I have some skills. But these guys are good at saving lives. To me that sounds like magic, but to them it's Tuesday. Or any day. That is amazing.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Reading Review

The anticipation of the book lies not in whether or not the kids who aren't Charlie will get their comeuppance, but in how gruesome that retribution will be.

To the Heart of the Storm Reading Review

As goes one street corner in the Bronx, so goes the rest of the world.

And Another Thing... Reading Review

Something this book gets absolutely right--and I mean nails it to the wall and then puts another nail through the center of that nail--is the Vogons.

Beyond This Horizon Reading Review

I grabbed the first Heinlein I saw at the library one day. I figured anything from the Grand Master had to be great. I was mistaken.

From Hell Reading Review

You thought you were going to read about a serial killer, maybe get a thrilling whodunit and police procedural. Didn't know you were wading into a sea of magic rituals and philosophical questions, did you? Welcome to Alan Moore.

End of Watch Reading Review

In End of Watch, Brady Hartsfield takes on the role of that pleasing, deceitful voice. He finds folks at their weakest and tells them what they want to hear, that the end is easy and painless, and it will solve their problems forever. Otherwise, he says, the pain will go on forever, and no one will care.

Hell's Bounty Reading Review

It's a quest for justice and personal redemption, slathered in gore and dusted with gunpowder.

When David Lost his Voice Reading Review

There's something this book gets absolutely right about cancer. It takes its time. Often, panels repeat, either completely or with only slight alterations, to give us the feeling of stasis that comes with dying.

The Maker of Universes Reading Review

Farmer's two biggest talents are on full display: action writing and world building.

Brighten the Corner Where You Are Reading Review

This book is fun all the way through, even the sadder parts, of which there are only a few. But it always feels like it's holding back secrets, that there are depths unknown just below the surface.

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Reading Review

For almost the entirety of the book, ends miss ends, and you seriously have no idea what's going on. But you're laughing, having a good time, and you trust Adams, because he's not only funny, he's a fine writer.

Hell House Reading Review

The events unfold slowly, which is the proper pacing for a horror novel, but after a time the reader can't help but wonder if they stumbled into Heck House by mistake. But rest assured, Hell awaits, and the explorers do indeed suffer Satanic torments.

Honky Tonk Samurai Reading Review

Of course, being a Lansdale book, the action and plot are often sidelined by snappy, whimsical conversations about dogs, cookies, relationships, sex, and the best color to paint a jail cell.

My Favorite Book Series

In no particular order.

Firestarter Reading Review

Here we have the tightest bond possible, that of a father and daughter, tested to its limits. We learn in this novel there aren't any.

Ruthless Reading Review

Ruthless is Adams' first book, and it's flawed. But the ending she chose is perfect.

The Shrinking Man Reading Review

By making the simple decision to remove the possibility of recovery, Matheson delivers a story far more terrifying and personal than anything that came before.

To Your Scattered Bodies Go Reading Review

Secret loyalties are revealed, backs stabbed, duels fought, enigmas uncovered then cloaked in darkness once again. One theme appears again and again: Can a person change?

Misery Reading Review

Be careful what you wish for. Especially when you're asking for it from Stephen King.

Novelists I Should Read at Least Once

For some reason or other, I haven't gotten to these writers yet. But I will soon.

Johnny Got His Gun Reading Review

Joe is more than a mouthpiece for the writer's politics. He's a character we're willing to invest our time and emotions in. But the politics are there, and this book does have an agenda. It just happens to be one I've always held as my own.

Slaughterhouse-Five Reading Review

What about the damn aliens? Did they happen, too?

Fender Lizards Reading Review

I hope my daughter will read this one day. It's perfect for young readers, especially girls looking for a heroine with real faults and true guts.

Boy's Life Reading Review

Overflowing with the magic and marvel associated with the doe-eyed innocence of youth.

My Five Favorite Songs About Donald Trump

Sometimes it's easier to believe Donald Trump is the actual biblical devil than it is to believe that so many people hear all his mean, ugly, bigoted, hateful, insensitive, divisive ramblings and think, "Yeah, that's me, too."

Video Games I Have Loved, and That Have Loved Me Back: Part Three

I longed for my basement room, for my friends, for video games, so I decided to take a sweet trip down Nostalgia Lane on this new thing called the Internet. I Alta Vista-ed Dragon Warrior.

My Ten Favorite Guitar Riffs

It's a riff so solid, you can lean against it.

What Makes a Miracle?

Does anybody believe in miracles anymore? Walt Whitman saw them everywhere.

The Best Year of 2014

I got married twice. I love my little nephew. I hosted seven Nerd Quiz Live! shows this year. This was the year I accepted Ronnie James Dio as my personal savior.

The Island of Misfit Toys and Lies

There's a toy war going on, and the sad things is the corporations are winning. They've fooled us into believing the lie of pink for girls and blue for boys.

Memories of Robin Williams

Trying to follow Robin's lead will crush you.

Video Games I Have Loved and That Have Loved Me Back: Part Two

Thank you, video games for keeping my memories sharp, my heart light, and for making the years flow in reverse for a few short, bright moments.

My Five Favorite Songs About My Least Favorite Thing

Rollins is right, it's not an adventure, it's a job. But you have to have a job. You gotta pay the bills and feed your family more than just free salt packets from Burger King. Staying is easy; quitting is scary.

Clockwork Angels Reading Review

If you're familiar with the Rush catalogue, the book comes with a built-in soundtrack. Lyrical snippets from Rush songs are peppered throughout the novel. I often had to stop half way through a sentence and ask why my inner reading voice suddenly broke into song and jumped up two octaves.

Clockwork Angels Listening Review

This is one of the heaviest albums I've ever heard, right up there with Tool and Pantera. I'm not kidding. There are some mosh-worthy songs here.

My Five Favorite Songs About Killers

Are we attracted to killers because they represent our own dark passengers? Do we vent our black desires vicariously through these fictional boogeymen?

What to Get Me For My Birthday (2014)

I don't ask for much, just some power tools, or objects of power, or the power to warp space and time.

Six Seven Things You Don't Remember About Last Year

What of the small, not at all insignificant moments that fell between the big memories and were lost? They are just as vital, just as precious and in need of preserving.

All the Right Places

Don't relocate the sock. Or if you do, at least leave a forwarding address.

Music in the Abstract: Three Ways to Listen to Rush

What's the best way to enjoy almost forty years of mostly great music? How about...

My Faith

Something to do with the Smurfs in the hands of a jealous god. Hard to explain.

Nerd Party

I would have been able to loosen up at the party had all those people not been there.

Reading Review: Two Hap and Leonard Novellas by Joe R. Lansdale

A blissful, fistful good time.

My Five Favorite "Radio" Songs

Oh, the insipid, toothless thing radio has become. In its effort to please everyone, it has nothing exciting to say.

The Naming of Songs

A song's name is not always in the chorus, but most people think it is.

Reading Review: The 2000 Year Old Man by Mel Brooks & Carl Reiner

A really old guy with really silly things to say. That'll be me some day.

Bon Who?

Most popular music I have intentionally avoided.

Backyard Quest

I failed every one of my quests. No resets, no save points, no walkthroughs. Hyrule burned to the ground because I sucked at everything.

I'm Not Racist, But...

A touchy subject I am in no way qualified to discuss. But why should that stop me?

Good Vibrations

Had you asked me when I was twelve what my favorite band was, I would have answered, "The Beach Boys." Because that was the only rock-and-roll tape my mom had.

Memories of Bruce

For her birthday last year, my fiancee Connie got to cross an item off her bucket list. We drove from South Carolina to Kansas City, each of us catching a few hours sleep in the back of the van, to sit behind the stage at a Bruce Springsteen concert.

An Assemblage of Fools

Despite what the gods command, I will continue to do comedy.

What To Get Me For My Birthday (2013)

You know, if you wanted to.

Interview with Cody Hughes part 2

Cody: "It woulda been funny if I got hit in the head with that beer bottle."

Interview with Cody Hughes part 1

Cody: "Doing the comedy that you want to do falls apart so easily."

Pain-A-Day Calendar

This week is going to suck.

Reading Review: Edge of Dark Water by Joe R. Lansdale

A journey downriver to fulfill a dead friend's dream.

End of Me

Do you think about when you're gonna die? I think about it all the time.

PK Podcast 1: Dead Writers

I must remind myself from time to time that my heroes are not perfect.

My Five Favorite Songs About Fatherhood

The most positive fatherly example I've grown up with may very well be Darth Vader.

My Open Mic Manifesto

I take it to the maximum.

Up, Up, and Away

I figured if my super powers weren't going to evolve naturally, the only other way to get them was with, according to comic book lore, radiation. Turned out there were very few sources of radioactivity in my hometown.

My Five Favorite Songs About the Apocalypse

As more and more musicians began to reject the pervasive greed and excess not only in rock-and-roll but in American culture, the glamour boys who needed nothing but a good time began to find themselves ignored and unemployed. The reactionary themes of the Sixties reappeared, only this time angrier and darker.

Video Games I Have Loved and That Have Loved Me Back

You felt like a character in the story rather than a machine manipulating buttons and a joystick at maximum efficiency. It's true escape, not just empty motions.

My Five Favorite Rock-and-roll Screams

The releasing of anger can better any medicine under the sun.

My Five Favorite Song Choruses

Songs are usually built around choruses that stick to your brain like peanut butter, but the entire rest of the song exists only to kill time until the chorus can come round again

Super Murder Fuck

I left with many mementos of my adventure: a ringing in my ears, smoke in my clothes, a band around my wrist, someone's Dead Kennedys button entangled in my hair, and a graveyard tango ghosting in my brain.

Step Right Up

Only in Asheville would a tapeworm puppet teach us about water harvesting at a sideshow.

Home Sick

Rainbow nurses me back to health.

Grandma

I visited my grandma at the nursing home this Christmas. I recognized her mostly because everyone else there called her Grandma and Mamma. But this wasn't the woman I remembered.

Put the X Back in Xmas

You can wish me merry Xmas if you want. I won't mind. You can even pay me to have a merry Xmas. I'd gladly take upwards of five bucks to have a happy holiday, especially since you insist I remain joyful the entire month of December.

Setting the Platinum Record Straight

If you're not a Rush fan, please pay close attention to these amazing and true facts about the world's greatest band.

These Lyrics Suck

This song had it coming.

Happy Rollins Day

How you can celebrate the birth of everyone's favorite alternative icon.

Flayed in the USA

For all the atrocities done for my benefit, I say thanks.

Instant Normality Kit

Calling all nerds, geeks, dorks, and other geniuses. Do you feel left out at your job, unable to mingle with the normals?